I’ll Take Excitement

Unless you’ve been on total media blackout for the past several days (or you simply don’t care) you know the Artest-for-Stojakovic trade that had me all a-twitter last week went through after all and it’s been beautiful for me so far. Ron-Ron plays hard and he looks to be in impressive physical condition for someone who just sat through a six-week layoff.

Plus, he’s extremely entertaining even outside of his on-court skills. Every interview keeps me glued to the television, mostly because he doesn’t seem to have been fitted with that microchip most pro athletes have that provides them with stock answers to standard questions so they can dedicate their brain power to remembering offensive play sets rather than describing how it feels to play for a new team. Ron considers every softball reporters lob at him, like “did it feel good to get a win tonight?” as if he’s never heard the question before, runs it through his brain, and answers with something heartfelt, but completely unexpected and, well, weird. It’s entertaining because it’s somewhat endearing, somewhat tragic, but all real. Since nobody has said anything remotely interesting in a post-game interview since the dawn of broadcasting, that Ron makes me pay attention to and get excited for his five minute pre-shower sitdown with Grant Napear is something special.

To make a clumsier attempt at one of those sports-to-music analogies Ian does so well, trading Peja Stojakovic for Ron Artest is like trading Josh Groban for R. Kelly.

Josh Groban, while extremely talented at one thing, is boring to the extent that only moms really like him. Likewise, Peja is as talented a shooter as you’ll find, but his lack of other skills prevented him from being truly exciting on a consistent basis. Plus, as Sacramento Bee points out, “the trade could be judged along gender lines. Women hated it. Men loved it.”

R. Kelly, on the other hand, might not sing as well as Josh Groban, but he also writes, produces and acts, doing all of these things in ways few others would ever attempt or imagine. The drawbacks: 1) his brain does not operate like any other brain, and 2) he has been caught on video doing something totally heinous. Number one makes him fascinating to watch, but number two always lurks in the back of our minds, tempering our enjoyment of number one.

I’m sure you can see how The R. and our new friend Ron have a lot in common.

All things considered, though, I will gladly take an entertaining risk on Kells/Ron-Ron than live with the safe, dull, but nonetheless impressive talent of Groban/Peja.

Remind me of this if/when the Artest honeymoon ends.