* Someone hacked my site late last week. This was puzzling on a number of levels, the most prominent of which being that, like, four people actually visit this site. It’s not exactly much of a conquest, really. It’s akin to setting the record for punching yourself in the neck the most times in a minute; it’s stupid, insignificant and frankly not all that difficult. Regardless, if you are one of those four people who stopped by over the weekend and saw the hacked version, no, I didn’t develop a sudden affection for Matrix-meets-Geocities-sites-circa-’99 school of design. Nor did I suddenly fall in love with 1337 speak. That wasn’t me. It’s all over now. I promise. It’s all fixed now, baby. Don’t you worry about it.
* CB2.com, Crate and Barrel’s new younger-skewing little sister, gets my Seal of Approval. For no real reason, I got the itch to order new plates last week. I turned to CB2, who pleasantly scratched that itch. The plates I chose are attractive, inexpensive and arrived promptly. Plus, they use cool environmentally-friendly packaging. When I opened the bright orange box and found one of the plates chipped, I called their toll-free help line immediately. After just over a minute’s total time on the phone, which included shuffling through an automated menu and speaking with a very helpful and courteous customer service rep, they agreed to send me another plate free of charge and I didn’t have to return a thing. A+, CB2. Please open a brick-and-mortar store near me immediately.
* Also getting my Seal of Approval: The Donkey Puncher, a delicious beverage desperately in need of a better name. Here’s how you make it: Drink a 40-ounce bottle of malt liquor (I prefer King Cobra) down just past the label. Refill the bottle with your favorite variety of Sparks (I chose Sparks Plus, a.k.a. Sparks Black, a.k.a Goth Sparks, a.k.a. Sparks WK [party in a can]). This is the Peanut Butter and Jelly of adult beverages. It is one of the twenty best things I’ve ever had in my mouth (the rest of which are mostly either breasts or foods from the Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n’ Waffles menu).
* If you’ve ever wanted to get to a point where hanging yourself sounds like sweet relief, try spending a Summer in Sacramento with both a car and an apartment that do not have air conditioning. It’s working quite nicely for me.
* I would pay somewhere in the neighborhood of a $20 cover to get into a place where I could drink beers, swim and pet doggies. Not at the same time, mind you. I’m not endorsing wet dogs or drinking around wet dogs. I just want to scratch a puppy and stay cool. I’d like to pretend I’m not alone in thinking this is a great idea. Even if I am, if you have a dog and a pool, you could probably make some easy money from me.
Possible proof that I’m getting old: several of my favorite albums of 2006 would sell briskly if merchandised properly at Starbucks.
I’m not saying everything I’ve liked this year is bland and ready to blow up on the Soccer Mom circuit, but a staggering percentage of it is. Here are some records I’ve liked this year that make me wonder if I’ve lost what little edge I had:
* James Hunter - People Gonna Talk: College radio had never introduced me to anything worthwhile before James Hunter. On a Saturday morning in April (It was Picnic Day, as a matter of fact) I scurried around, hurriedly trying to track down some cash and some breakfast and some booze to keep me prepared and strong and wobbly for the rest of the day. While I drove around, I flipped radio stations and stopped immediately when I landed on my old college radio station and heard the title track from this James Hunter record. It sounded like an airy traditional ska track with vocals by Sam Cooke, much in the same way as “Come Back Baby” by The Slackers, which is only one of my favorite song of all time. The only difference being that this James Hunter song sounds like it has forty-plus years of dust on it. Two more songs from the record followed. When the DJ back-announced it, I wrote down his name and immediately checked it out as soon as I came home. I was shocked to discover People Gonna Talk, a very vintage-sounding Soul record that owes to artists like Ray Charles, came out this year and that it was recorded by a white Brit. I am way into it, but I bet your dad will be into it more.
* Josh Rouse - Subtitulo: I feel least weird about liking this album because I’ve loved Josh Rouse for years and this doesn’t stray much if at all from the style of his last two albums. Still, my favorite song from the album, “Quiet Town,” extols the virtues of living as far away from excitement and stimulation as possible. Then, other tracks like “Givin’ It Up,” a song about realizing he’s an alcoholic after a night of prolific drinking and subsequently checking into rehab, deal with adult issues to which I simply can’t relate. Still, it’s set to Tavares-esque strings and all I hear is ROLLERSKATE JAM. Aside from “Summertime,” which makes use of the word “fingerbanging,” which is strictly the domain of twelve-year-olds (and never fails to make me laugh), this album is pretty much strictly for middle-agers. I wonder if I’d like it if he hadn’t won me over several records ago.
* Sondre Lerche - Duper Sessions: Okay, you may not have a grasp on exactly how much music I listen to, but let’s just say it’s a lot. If I listen to an album twice, it’s pretty good. If I listen to it three times, it’s officially awesome. If it gets past that, I would probably marry it if man and property were allowed to mate. I have listened to Two Way Monologue, no exaggeration, probably around 500 times over the last three years or so. That’s partially out of comfort and partially because there’s so much going on in the background of these songs that I still pick out new things when I listen. When I heard he was in the studio recording a jazz-pop album, I was puzzled to say the least. When I got an Astralwerks sampler featuring “Everyone’s Rooting For You,” though, I think the glee might have caused me to wet myself ever-so-slightly. The full-length, which is chock full of Chet Baker-esque jazz quartet tracks, is just light and free and wonderful. I’ve probably listened to this more than any other album other album this year aside from the new Phoenix (Astralwerks has been killing it lately if you haven’t been paying attention). After his next album, which is supposed to be jagged, loud power pop songs, I really hope he decides to cut a record of Bossa Nova tracks. It might inspire people to start having cocktail parties again.
* Corinne Bailey Rae - Corinne Bailey Rae: Home for lunch, like, two months ago, I found myself flipping through the video channels and stopped on VH1 Soul when I caught a bit of a Corinne Bailey Rae video. It sounded and looked way different than most of what you’d normally see on VH1 Soul, which is usually so stylistically consistent anything even an inch from the norm tends to stand out. I made note of the name, but didn’t bother to do any further research. When I was in a Capitol meeting shortly thereafter, though, they talked about how she is a priority for them and played a little bit of her music. They gave me a copy of the full-length and I threw it on while I cleaned my apartment that night. Most of it sounded like generic, grown ‘n’ sexy smooth R&B, but two songs stood out. The first being the leadoff track, “Like a Star,” which I liked when I saw the aforementioned video, then loved when I realized I could pretend she was saying “Jeff’s” (contraction for “Jeff is”) instead of “Just” (give it a listen and try not to hear that now [please also try not to think about how self-centered I am]). The other song I fell for is “Call Me When You Get This,” a breezy early-’90s-sounding Summer jam. At the end of the chorus, she sings “if you’re still awake/call me when you get this.” I love it when songwriters use lyrics that conversational (there’s a similar moment in Ghostface’s “Shakey Dog” where he says “I’m like, ‘holy shit!’” that makes it seem like it’s just a dude telling a story for a little bit). The thing that stands out about this, however, is that whenever anyone has called someone, maybe after a few drinks, and left a late night message that ends with “if you’re still awake, call me when you get this,” it comes at a moment of total vulnerability and that sort of vulnerability is extremely rare in pop music. It’s that moment that brought me back to this album and made me listen to it several times when I could have just as easily written it off after the first listen. It’s one of my favorite songs of the year. If you listen to it, you might understand why that makes me feel old.
