Ladies, Never Date an Emo Dude: A Cautionary Tale
You’d think the warning signs would be hard to miss. It seems obvious that a singer in an emo band would make for a vindictive, immature ex, yet they continue to sing about their inability to maintain an adult relationship and people keep dating them.
We occasionally run promotions at work where we give away autographed CD booklets to people who pre-order certain albums. I have to imagine the touring and the radio and the TV that comes with the lead-up to an album launch leaves few free hours, and blowing two of them sitting in a room signing your name a thousand times has to get a little tedious. It’s not surprising when bands have a little fun and get creative with the signatures.
Taking Back Sunday, whose album Louder Now just came out this week, definitely got creative.
When the booklets arrive at the office, one of the people on my team usually takes a break to stuff them into jewel cases so our warehouse can pack them and ship them off. It sounds boring, but, on rare occasions, it’s actually kind of nice to zone out for a while and do something that doesn’t require even the tiniest notion of creative thought.
Anyway, I had less on my plate that day than any of my other co-workers, so I volunteered to stuff the Taking Back Sunday liner notes. As I made my way through them, I noticed the band made some drawings on a few of the booklets. There was an anthropomorphized cloud on one, a beer can on another. On some of the others, they wrote little notes to their fans. Here are a few nuggets of Taking Back Sunday wisdom, as found on their autographed CD booklets:
* Adam is YAY!
* Korn is terrible
* R. Kelly Pee’s [sic]
* Figure 4 Leg lock= Ric Flair’s finishing move
* What happened to hip hop…
In addition to their musings on music and professional wrestling, there were also some fake signatures, like Sir Mix-a-lot and Herbie Hancock. Others featured one-word statements with questionable punctuation. “PANTS.” got a period, “BOOBIES!” got an exclamation point, but “Pancakes” was left mysteriously naked, no punctuation at all.
This sort of stuff is pretty standard. What isn’t standard, though, is that a few of these booklets had a phone number on them.
I was bored and, curiosity being the cure for boredom and all, I decided to get my Scooby Doo on and do some investigation. At first, I thought it was one of the dudes in the band screwing with one of his bandmates because the ink-thickness of the phone number didn’t match the name next to it.
Eventually, I decided to text message the number. Here’s a transcript of my conversation.
Me: Hey, dude.
Mystery Number: Whos this
Me: Is this Matt?
Mystery Number: Nope sorry
Me: If you’re in Taking Back Sunday, one of your bandmates is effing with you. If you’re not in TBS, someone in the band is effing with you.
Mystery Number: Adam is my ex boyfriend, I gues hes messin w/u
Me: Ha. Just a heads up, he put your phone number on a bunch of autographed CDs going out to their fans. I think I pulled them all, but you might get calls from some randoms. Sorry.
About three seconds later, my phone rings. A girl, out to dinner with someone, worried, shouts “IS WHAT YOU TEXTED ME TRUE!?”
I tried to stifle the laughter while I explained to her that I wasn’t lying and that I think I rescued all of the booklets with her number on it, but I couldn’t be sure. She should’ve thanked me, but she kept going on and on. Eventually, I had to say, “I don’t really want to talk about this anymore” and hang up. And laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh.
You should know you’re playing with fire when you date an emo dude. When you break up—and you will break up—he might write a song about you, he might say unflattering things about you in an interview or he might give your phone number out to other girls who will call you and dream about how they would have made it work with that same emo dude, who would surely break up with her, write a song about her, say unflattering things about her in an interview and distribute her number to other girls and so on and so on.
10 Comments »
I hope you know I pretty much died reading this.
I aspire to have some emo rocker mad enough at me one day to put my phone number on cds.
Comment by Amanda
July 6, 2006 @ 9:19 am
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i think emo guys are hot i once dated one
Comment by lindsey
July 9, 2007 @ 10:22 am
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I DO NOT BELIVE YOU DO U KNOW GERARD WAY FROM MCR BY ANY CHANCE PLEASE!!
Comment by RUBY
August 7, 2007 @ 11:50 am
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This is a stupid website whats up with the dont date emo dades. Ill have you know that emo dudes are the coolest people in THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD
Over and Out
Jazz
Comment by Jazz
October 5, 2007 @ 5:41 am
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Hey ppl my name is kristian im 15 and im 5 foot with red hair lights in my hair rock on lolz but im really a good person so emo guys please text me heres my number 719 994 5033 plzz im dyeing to know you and im an emo skater girl who loves to go everywhere so emo guys plz txt mehhhh plz heres my number again 719-994-5033 im sweet funny nice and caring and crazy out going thatz nat a bicth lolz txt me ok
Comment by Hey guys!!!!im looking 4 a guy who realy sweet funny and caring and that he emo and punk im 15 in the hafe i have red hair lights in my hair i got brown eyes im 5 foot and i skate board and im really a good person so text message me heres my number 719 9
July 1, 2008 @ 12:50 am
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im trying to see how the real emo life works so have an emo guy text me i love emo
Comment by kristy
June 9, 2009 @ 6:33 am
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3162102922 my number
Comment by kristy
June 9, 2009 @ 6:34 am
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omfg that’ frickin hilarious!!!!
that’s just so funny. i just about died reading that!
Comment by Marlee
July 27, 2009 @ 6:37 pm
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Comment by Snowy
September 3, 2009 @ 10:18 am
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If you’re in not good state and have no money to get out from that, you will require to take the personal loans. Just because that will help you for sure. I get term loan every year and feel myself great because of that.
Comment by OsbornKRISTY26
June 17, 2010 @ 11:29 pm
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