A Few Things
* Someone hacked my site late last week. This was puzzling on a number of levels, the most prominent of which being that, like, four people actually visit this site. It’s not exactly much of a conquest, really. It’s akin to setting the record for punching yourself in the neck the most times in a minute; it’s stupid, insignificant and frankly not all that difficult. Regardless, if you are one of those four people who stopped by over the weekend and saw the hacked version, no, I didn’t develop a sudden affection for Matrix-meets-Geocities-sites-circa-’99 school of design. Nor did I suddenly fall in love with 1337 speak. That wasn’t me. It’s all over now. I promise. It’s all fixed now, baby. Don’t you worry about it.
* CB2.com, Crate and Barrel’s new younger-skewing little sister, gets my Seal of Approval. For no real reason, I got the itch to order new plates last week. I turned to CB2, who pleasantly scratched that itch. The plates I chose are attractive, inexpensive and arrived promptly. Plus, they use cool environmentally-friendly packaging. When I opened the bright orange box and found one of the plates chipped, I called their toll-free help line immediately. After just over a minute’s total time on the phone, which included shuffling through an automated menu and speaking with a very helpful and courteous customer service rep, they agreed to send me another plate free of charge and I didn’t have to return a thing. A+, CB2. Please open a brick-and-mortar store near me immediately.
* Also getting my Seal of Approval: The Donkey Puncher, a delicious beverage desperately in need of a better name. Here’s how you make it: Drink a 40-ounce bottle of malt liquor (I prefer King Cobra) down just past the label. Refill the bottle with your favorite variety of Sparks (I chose Sparks Plus, a.k.a. Sparks Black, a.k.a Goth Sparks, a.k.a. Sparks WK [party in a can]). This is the Peanut Butter and Jelly of adult beverages. It is one of the twenty best things I’ve ever had in my mouth (the rest of which are mostly either breasts or foods from the Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n’ Waffles menu).
* If you’ve ever wanted to get to a point where hanging yourself sounds like sweet relief, try spending a Summer in Sacramento with both a car and an apartment that do not have air conditioning. It’s working quite nicely for me.
* I would pay somewhere in the neighborhood of a $20 cover to get into a place where I could drink beers, swim and pet doggies. Not at the same time, mind you. I’m not endorsing wet dogs or drinking around wet dogs. I just want to scratch a puppy and stay cool. I’d like to pretend I’m not alone in thinking this is a great idea. Even if I am, if you have a dog and a pool, you could probably make some easy money from me.
3 Comments »
You forgot to mention the best part of your hacking experience: the soundtrack. Maybe they were just trying to bring Michael Jackson back into the mainstream.
Comment by claiborne
July 18, 2006 @ 6:32 am
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these last two posts of yours are, like, totally you. makes me miss you a little bit. come to LA soon.
Comment by Heidi
July 18, 2006 @ 9:58 pm
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One would think that CB2 would be less expensive… anyways… I much more prefer West Elm (westelm.com) to CB2… Maybe it’s my style…
Comment by Laundro
August 21, 2006 @ 5:29 am
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